How Could You Let Go of This?

Actually, I assume she just ran when he finally let go of her. Crackheads have killer grips, you know? Amy Crackhouse and Pete Doherty have called it quits. Finally.

The real question is, when is she going to end her love affair with Valium, Cocaine, and Oxycodone? Never. Because those are ties that bind. True love right there.

His grill is completely MindFuck, BTW.

More Jackson Family Heartbreak

Jermaine Dupri's selfish ass was like "I'm sorry, Janet, but you are too emotional these days, it's over." I'm not kidding, people. Actually, I don't know if that's the real reason, LMAO. But I do think it's a bit heartless to break up with her after a years-long relationship in the middle of one of her most emotional time spans.

Then again, I would dump a chick who was rocking hats that like that one. Assuming I was dating a chick. Or dating in general. The thought amuses me....

New Tag for JD: "Douchy Fucks". He deserves it.

Rihanna Has a Britney Moment

Following in the steps of One Hit Wonder Cassie Ventura, Rihanna went ape-shit and shaved the sides of her head. I'm thinking Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Or maybe one of those rights from Chris Brown knocked a screw loose. I'm not completely sure.

What do people think about this new look? I'm not a fan. But she's certainly not ugly. Once Chris Brown get's a hold of her police-calling ass, she will be though! At least she put her bazoombas away.

Whitney Houston Immortalized in Wax

90s Crack Queen Whitney Houston had her wax figure stand in for her album cover photo shoot. What happened to the ashy, dry lips? The lack of breasts? The overly bony shoulders? The fucked up weave--oh, wait, no that's still there.

Anyone actually looking forward to this album? Whitney might be way past her prime.

Nom Nom Nom Nom

OK, so I'm just posting this because secretly I've always dreamed of seeing Vin Diesel chow down on some fried chicken. So... yeah.

HUNGRY MOTHAFUCKA!!

Vida Guerra Should Stick to Sucking Dick

Especially if whenever there isn't something in her mouth, she starts rapping like this. I watched the first 10 seconds and burst out laughing.




Get back on your knees, Vida! You have no talent standing up.

Thanks to Mayte for showing me this.

Alert: SOULJA BOY CROSSED THE LINE!!!!!! Total Mindfuck!

What in the fuck?!?!?!?! Soulja Boy is going buck-ass-wild with his camera phone! OH SHIT EVERYONE BOOKMARK THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know you want to tell everyone about the big ass cucumber that Soulja Boy stole from your fridge and put in his drawers! I know I do! Fresh produce is expensive these days! I would be pissed too! Socks just aren't cutting it these days, huh?

But what about that facial expression? Was he sucking on a Warhead?

Parents: Hide the children. Unless they are size queens. Then they're already on their way to Soulja Boy's house.

And SB: either let the world know what you are really working with or put your fucking pants back on. Nobody likes a tease. :(

Down Syndrome Baby's New Whore's Mugshot!!!!

Remember Jon Gosselin's new whore who would suck dick for camera time?

Well she really is desperate! She is willing to get arrested just to get a free headshot! She'll do anything for camera time, I'm not lying!

She loves her marijuana. Two bags of it actually. That's why she is seen here, showing everyone that makeup is not her friend. Fake ass eyebrows.

Jake And Resse Trip in Public

Requiem for a Dream alert: Jake Gyllenhaal and Resse Witherspoon swallowed some cough medicine and were told by their couch to go driving under the influence. Happens every day in Hollywood land, but I bet their now-talking loveseat didn't inform them that paparazzi would be tailing them virtually every fucking place they went. I wouldn't be surprised if the pap had cameras bolted onto the car door. But the druggies didn't notice them. Or the couch told them it wasn't really there. Either way, we got great, flattering pics of the as they drive "spaceship" to "the sun".

Don't trust a hard drug user. You can tell the trippers from their big ass pupils. If you see one of these bug-eyed fuckers doing 80 on the freeway, take a picture too! Then sell it to People Magazine or TMZ.com for 4 million dollars like all the big celebs do to take advantage of their children. Or sell it to me... I'll try to get you a deal at McDonalds.

Alert: Jessica Simpson Eats Her Feelings

I would be stuffing my fat face full of diabetic coma-inducing shit if my boyfriend dumped me the day before my birthday as well. It's OK, Jessica, ice cream, french fries, and McChickens will never let you down. And your weight will never go down either.

I hope some Cheez Whiz makes you feel better. :)

Fat bitch alert!!