Vida Guerra Should Stick to Sucking Dick

Especially if whenever there isn't something in her mouth, she starts rapping like this. I watched the first 10 seconds and burst out laughing.




Get back on your knees, Vida! You have no talent standing up.

Thanks to Mayte for showing me this.

Alert: SOULJA BOY CROSSED THE LINE!!!!!! Total Mindfuck!

What in the fuck?!?!?!?! Soulja Boy is going buck-ass-wild with his camera phone! OH SHIT EVERYONE BOOKMARK THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know you want to tell everyone about the big ass cucumber that Soulja Boy stole from your fridge and put in his drawers! I know I do! Fresh produce is expensive these days! I would be pissed too! Socks just aren't cutting it these days, huh?

But what about that facial expression? Was he sucking on a Warhead?

Parents: Hide the children. Unless they are size queens. Then they're already on their way to Soulja Boy's house.

And SB: either let the world know what you are really working with or put your fucking pants back on. Nobody likes a tease. :(

Down Syndrome Baby's New Whore's Mugshot!!!!

Remember Jon Gosselin's new whore who would suck dick for camera time?

Well she really is desperate! She is willing to get arrested just to get a free headshot! She'll do anything for camera time, I'm not lying!

She loves her marijuana. Two bags of it actually. That's why she is seen here, showing everyone that makeup is not her friend. Fake ass eyebrows.

Jake And Resse Trip in Public

Requiem for a Dream alert: Jake Gyllenhaal and Resse Witherspoon swallowed some cough medicine and were told by their couch to go driving under the influence. Happens every day in Hollywood land, but I bet their now-talking loveseat didn't inform them that paparazzi would be tailing them virtually every fucking place they went. I wouldn't be surprised if the pap had cameras bolted onto the car door. But the druggies didn't notice them. Or the couch told them it wasn't really there. Either way, we got great, flattering pics of the as they drive "spaceship" to "the sun".

Don't trust a hard drug user. You can tell the trippers from their big ass pupils. If you see one of these bug-eyed fuckers doing 80 on the freeway, take a picture too! Then sell it to People Magazine or TMZ.com for 4 million dollars like all the big celebs do to take advantage of their children. Or sell it to me... I'll try to get you a deal at McDonalds.

Alert: Jessica Simpson Eats Her Feelings

I would be stuffing my fat face full of diabetic coma-inducing shit if my boyfriend dumped me the day before my birthday as well. It's OK, Jessica, ice cream, french fries, and McChickens will never let you down. And your weight will never go down either.

I hope some Cheez Whiz makes you feel better. :)

Fat bitch alert!!

It's Only A Matter of Time Before Disney Releases You From Your Contract

It was only a matter of time before the pressure Disney's contract put on Miley Cyrus became too much for her libido to take. She's been slutting it up big time for the camera, so much that I had to add like 8ish pics or so of her being a complete teen whore. I don't mind it, Miley. We're all kinda whorey. But you are famous, and 16, and whorey. That's even more fun. And warrents more attention.

Thank God you are actually kinda good looking. Or else you would get it sooooooo much worse! You are still a camera whore though!

PS: I love the watermark on some of the pics. It says "TrainReq" LMFAO!!! They completely called that one. They should put that watermark on Baldy Britney pics also.

Kevin James is Gross With Food

Kevin James is pictured here having an "Along Came Polly" moment with a friend. He's got some knee, tan, and weight problems going on. I don't really know what to say, other than that maybe next time he should tuck his shirt into his shorts when he goes for a lay-up. Help the onlookers out.

At least he's happy, though. And he's too cool for school playing ball with Matrix glasses. Wow.

Madonna Seeks Penis

Now this is some true determination. Here Madonna is, right on stage at her concert, beckoning for cock! She doesn't wait to get off stage. She has her urge, and she just sits down and opens up! I admire your bravery and your willingness to say what you want. Skank. Now close your 5000-year-old labias before a scarab pops out.

Case of the Stares Special: 2 for the Price of One!

Nothing is funnier than celebrities who stare off into the distance for the cameras. It's not a cute look. But it makes me wonder where these people are looking, what they are looking at, and why.

Is Hayden giving that glare to the guy who spelled her tattoo wrong? Is Ashley laughing at Pete over his baby dick pics from his Sidekick? I wonder, I wonder.

There's Nothing Under Your Hands!

That's right, laugh, Lily Allen. We are laughing, too, at the thought that you actually believe you have breast to cover up. You do need to cover up that board of yours though. Maybe if you work out they'll be a little protusion?

New Tag: "pancake booty".