Mindfuck: Killin' Pussies

This is disgusting.

Mindfuck: Lady GaGa Needs to Trim Her GaGa

In what world is this attractive? I take pity for the man, woman, or domesticated animal that finds a pink pube bush attractive. Lady GaGa reinforces one thing: she's disgusting. And a hermy.

Sept. 1st Tip of the Day: What Not to Do With Cocoa Butter.

Well, if you are Steve Harvey, or look like Steve Harvey, or are black and bald... and old, you should not rub it all over your exposed upper body. Actually, your upper body shouldn't be exposed at all. Dear Mr. Gross Moustache Man, this is really not attractive. Who are trying to court? Why do you have your shirt off? Who recommended that you take your shirt off? Why did you bath in Oompa Loompa syrup? Why are you so shiny? Why are you so happy? Why are you here? As you can tell, my questions are both plentiful and unanswered.

So, my tip for today, in mathematical form to celebrate my going back to school ---> spray tan : cocoa butter :: water : oil

Proceed with caution.

PS: I know it has been a while but it's time to turn over a new leaf. I've made a location change, a surrounding change, and now I'm back on my feet. So no worries: I'll never leave you alone for more than a week ever again.

Fashion Icon My Ass

I don't care how revolutionary your First Lady style has been for black women all over the world, high rise shorts and running shoes? And you're not even running? Unforgivable.

Heidi Klum had this to say about Mama Obama: "Michelle, Malia, you're both out. Auf Wiedersehen."

You tell 'em, German-chick-who-gets-pregnant-once-a-month-and-then-reverts-to-being-model-stick-then-immediately-after-labor.

GQ Plays MJ

What better way to show tribute to someone? Put that person on the cover of one of the biggest magazines in print. Then, say said tributed person was only special during a specific point in time. Yeah!

I don't have much of an opinion on this. I think it's kinda funny that GQ still has balls enough to say stuff like that to a sensitive American public. Case in point: Jermaine Dupri. He didn't like the title very much at all, and voice his views on his Twitter. But only fools would follow him so he was pretty much talking to himself.

It's the cover of the new Sept. Issue, which is the most famous and popular issue of the magazine, which features a bagillion pages of the Fall Style Manual. So you're probably pretty tacky if you don't go get it.

THIS IS ACTUALLY STEVEN TYLER OF AEROSMITH. COMPLETE MINDFUCK.

*BARFS IN THROAT AND SUFFOCATES FROM IT*

Mindfuck: Does that Pale Chick Next to Tyra Have a Happy Trail?

Tyra is such a catty little whore. She's like "Everyone should embrace their bodies and strip down in public and show the world you are proud". Easy to say when your a tall, skinny modelbitch with quality Yaki weave and a girdle, corset, and slim undies on for good measure.

See, Tyra knows it's not easy to look the best in the picture these days. She's lost her pizazz. Well this bitch isn't going down without a fight. She got a bunch of ugly-ass, NOT-SO-SKINNY women to strip down behind her, look primitive, and make her look great.

Tyra... wins again.

AND ARE THEY PLAYING CATCH WITH TYRA'S WEAVE COLLECTION? SMH.

God Bless America!

Since when is Cellulite Attractive?

Who do I blame for Amber Rose's massive delusions of grandeur? The Hip Hop Community. For years, the black man has relished in the proverbial "Fat Booty", with all its round, chunky goodness. However, the more it's become a sex symbol amongst the minority folk, the less women have been prone to take actually care of their badonks. The result is fatty ass just hanging out. BAM, MUTHAFUCKA! All in your face.

But on a more unacceptable note, Amber Rose's saggy ass titties are covered up by what? An orange string! People! NO! This is not acceptable. Her love handles are starting to make moves in directions opposite her body, her ass is losing an epic battle with gravity, and what does Amber Rose do hide the torment her torso is enduring? She shows that nasty shit off to the world.

Well no thanks, Amber. Go find whatever curtain you ripped that string cutting into your fuck cut from, and try to wrap that shit around at least the lower portion of your fat ass cakes. Show some goddamn mercy. FUCK.

Or you could just have Kanye's massive lips suck the fat right out of you like that laser liposuction Kim Kardashian got on her show. That would be OK, too. And put a bra on too, while your at it. We don't want to see your chest ass, either.

1,000 Unique Page Views in the Last Few Weeks!

Yay, people, Yay! We are spreading! Slowly, of course, but surely! Keep spreading the word! Tell your friends! Let the whole world know about Recent. Ugliness.

Aaaaaaaaaaand.... while you're at it, play with my Twitter at twitter.com/dmichaelpadilla.

KThanksBye.

I'm Totally 35! Don't I Look It?

Answer to the titular question: no, Victoria Beckham, you do not. You look like Margaret Thatcher. Elizabeth Taylor. The Queen of England a couple of decades ago. What do all of these women have in common? THEY DO NOT LOOK 35!!!!!!!

WTF, Victoria? Why do you look so heinously old and worn the fuck out in this picture? I simply do not understand. For someone who is supposed to be all fashionable, divalicious, and *posh* (BAHAHAHAHAHA PUN PUN PUN PUN), you are just too cougarish today. You should know that neither wrinkles nor the five-head are fashion symbols.

Get your shit together.

Edited thanks to fucking Shannon.