Thursday, July 23, 2009

Chris Brown Needs Acting Classes

OK at about 0:20, your lips are gonna purse, your eyelids will sink, you will say one thing aloud, even if no one is around to hear you:

"Chris Brown needs to shut the fuck up".


This is why your lawyers told you not to say anything. They knew your wife-beating ass could not read teleprompters fast enough to add emotion also. You can only do one or the other. Take your time, brother....

But, alas, Rihanna's masochistic ass is watching this and going "I know he love me. He ain't gone hit me no mo'". Lies! He can't wait for the day his restraining order is gone and he can walk up on you and pop a gland in one of those tig ole bitties you've were showing everyone on July 4th. He wants to go WWE on your ass for calling the po-po when you disliked the pimp hand. You shoulda known he was gonna get sick of you and start throwing your ass from "Wall to Wall" (PUN!!!!).

And your crazy ass will be waiting there with "Hit Me" signs all over your body. You are foolish, Ri-Ri! Don't fall for this.

But on a more serious note, what hotel does the court have him working at with that jacket on? Not a good look.

Burnt Crack: the Fragrance

Everyone needs to go out to Walgreens, the 99 cent store, or your local incense dealer on the corner to buy Amy Crackhouse's fragrance when it comes out. That's right, she is coming out with her own fragance. Now you will get to experience what crack, valium, heroin, marijuana, alcohol, bleach, formaldehyde, ink, piss, breast milk, diet coke, ammonia, asshole hairs, dirt, and all other things Amy consumes on a daily basis smells like when mixed together! I'm so excited!