Saturday, August 1, 2009

I Think It's Safe to Say That Eminem Officially Hates Mariah Carey

All that talk about where they orgasmed and shit was a bit graphic. I'm really afraid for Mariah right now. Eminem is crazy.

Jessica Simpson is a Fool.

And this is why everyone should get Twitter.

God Bless America!

Alert: Down Syndrome Baby is Having Gender Issues

This is upsetting. He's as typically frumpy and tacky from the neck down as he usually is. But the face/head create a problem. you all know what that problem is. And we will simply leave it at that.

Points for Down Syndrome Baby: He's not wearing Ed Hardy or Christian Audigier. That's a good thing.

Jon and Kate ['s Accessories] Plus 8 [Abandoned Children].

Best [Fall] I Ever Had

Damn, Drizzy Drake, the only place you are "So Far Gone" to is the hospital. He tore his ACL again after this fall. Get well soon.

Tyrant Banks Guest Starring On "GG" In the Fall....

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Yes, indeedy, people. Crazy-ass power-hungry television dominator Tyra Banks will be guest starring on Gossip Girl this fall. She will not be playing herself, which is surprising because I'm sure Tyra doesn't know what it means to not be an attention whore, but she will try out her facial expression repertoire (like the "Banshee Demon Yoga Instructor" face seen above) playing someone... important. She's acted before (remember Jackie on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?), so let's see if she can hold her own amongst my idol, Chuck Bass.

What's Her Excuse Today?

lady gaga purple beehive hairstyle 03

OK, I know why I haven't been posting in a the last couple of days. It's production week, and I've been very tired and traveling between the Bronx and the Lower East Side at bizarre times of day. But what is her excuse for wearing this?

Here is the first problem. At first, second, and third glance, she appears to simply not be wearing clothing. This is not surprising to anyone who knows Lady Buttsexxx's habits. But once you figure out that she is wearing a coochie-cutter leotard that exposes her moose knuckle with pride and joy, you have to question just what the fuck is sitting on top of her head.

There spikes and thorns and whips and chains floating all over her head. It's fucking disgusting. I do love, though, how the last few strands of hair are just caught up in the porcupine pins at the back of her head, limp and lazy, just like Lady Rimjob's stylist.

Thank you to Emily Gonzalez for sending this. If people want to see something in the blog, send it to me!