Thursday, November 5, 2009

Mindfuck: Craigslist Will Be the Death of You.

What he wrote:

-Dark chocolate complexion
-Tall, athletic stature
-Bedroom eyes
-Luscious, kissable lips
-Unique, attractive style
-Defined bone structure
-Aspiring model

What you saw through your peephole:

There's nothing quite like online dating.

God Bless America!

Undergut: Evolution.

Scott Speedman apparently didn't get the memo. Just because you have one franchise that seems to go pretty well at the box office doesn't mean that you can give up on your career afterward. Seeing as to how it was your chiseled looks that got you where you are today, I would suggest that you go back to the drawing board and think about how you will go back to eating more Keri Russell (it's been a few years for you both, hasn't it?) and less Roy Rogers. Besides, you look like Robert Buckley (below), and he still has his ab game intact, so don't let that horrendous actor put you on the unemployment line because then your gut will be bloated from emaciation, and since you're not from a third world country, no one will believe you when you say it wasn't your fault.

Not that Americans are apt to help starving people anyway.