Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Chris Brown Has Given Up On Being Creative.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Chris Brown's cover for his newest album, "Graffiti". This is a hot ass mess. First of all, Chris Brown is mean-mugging a bunch of cartoon characters. He seems so upset, as if the cartoon characters are stealing his shine. And, of course, what does Chris Brown do when he is angry? He grabs the nearest blunt object he can find, calls up his criminal lawyer, and prepares himself for another domestic abuse case. He's used to it by now. 

I find it hysterical that both Breezy and Adam Lambert got lazy and used the same stock photo as their album cover background (see below). They also used the same queen-y, flame-boy-ant shiny silver font for their album names. Where is the creativity, people? And he is wearing Beyonce's robot arm from the Single Ladies video, which is cute on her, but creepy (and possibly a dangerous weapon) on Chris Brown. This is a no-no.

Do you play guitar, Chris Brown? Do you play any instrument other than AutoTune? I don't think so. Hint, hint, Chris: you hold the guitar in front of you when you play it. There. That should make it easier. And you might find it easier to walk in those boots if you actually tied them up. You don't want that glittery font to drip inside your boots, because you know damn well that when you bend over to clean it up your tight ass pants are going to rip and Rihanna's written testimony is going to pop out of your ass where you tried to hide it.