Saturday, August 22, 2009

Fashion Icon My Ass

mobamashorts

I don't care how revolutionary your First Lady style has been for black women all over the world, high rise shorts and running shoes? And you're not even running? Unforgivable.

Heidi Klum had this to say about Mama Obama: "Michelle, Malia, you're both out. Auf Wiedersehen."

You tell 'em, German-chick-who-gets-pregnant-once-a-month-and-then-reverts-to-being-model-stick-then-immediately-after-labor.

GQ Plays MJ

MJGQCOVER

What better way to show tribute to someone? Put that person on the cover of one of the biggest magazines in print. Then, say said tributed person was only special during a specific point in time. Yeah!

I don't have much of an opinion on this. I think it's kinda funny that GQ still has balls enough to say stuff like that to a sensitive American public. Case in point: Jermaine Dupri. He didn't like the title very much at all, and voice his views on his Twitter. But only fools would follow him so he was pretty much talking to himself.

It's the cover of the new Sept. Issue, which is the most famous and popular issue of the magazine, which features a bagillion pages of the Fall Style Manual. So you're probably pretty tacky if you don't go get it.

THIS IS ACTUALLY STEVEN TYLER OF AEROSMITH. COMPLETE MINDFUCK.



*BARFS IN THROAT AND SUFFOCATES FROM IT*

Mindfuck: Does that Pale Chick Next to Tyra Have a Happy Trail?



Tyra is such a catty little whore. She's like "Everyone should embrace their bodies and strip down in public and show the world you are proud". Easy to say when your a tall, skinny modelbitch with quality Yaki weave and a girdle, corset, and slim undies on for good measure.

See, Tyra knows it's not easy to look the best in the picture these days. She's lost her pizazz. Well this bitch isn't going down without a fight. She got a bunch of ugly-ass, NOT-SO-SKINNY women to strip down behind her, look primitive, and make her look great.

Tyra... wins again.

AND ARE THEY PLAYING CATCH WITH TYRA'S WEAVE COLLECTION? SMH.

God Bless America!

Since when is Cellulite Attractive?



Who do I blame for Amber Rose's massive delusions of grandeur? The Hip Hop Community. For years, the black man has relished in the proverbial "Fat Booty", with all its round, chunky goodness. However, the more it's become a sex symbol amongst the minority folk, the less women have been prone to take actually care of their badonks. The result is fatty ass just hanging out. BAM, MUTHAFUCKA! All in your face.

But on a more unacceptable note, Amber Rose's saggy ass titties are covered up by what? An orange string! People! NO! This is not acceptable. Her love handles are starting to make moves in directions opposite her body, her ass is losing an epic battle with gravity, and what does Amber Rose do hide the torment her torso is enduring? She shows that nasty shit off to the world.

Well no thanks, Amber. Go find whatever curtain you ripped that string cutting into your fuck cut from, and try to wrap that shit around at least the lower portion of your fat ass cakes. Show some goddamn mercy. FUCK.

Or you could just have Kanye's massive lips suck the fat right out of you like that laser liposuction Kim Kardashian got on her show. That would be OK, too. And put a bra on too, while your at it. We don't want to see your chest ass, either.