Thursday, December 17, 2009

Alert: Ni-coke Kidman.

Now I know that people are always looking for new ways to try drugs and make them activate more quickly and whatnot, but didn't Nicole know that rubbing it all over your face and into your corneas is not necessarily the safest method of cocaine consumption? Now we don't care what you experiment with in your own home, Kidman (it's true, we have no interest in your collection of painkillers and vibrators...), but when you bring it out in public for everyone to see, well then gosh darn it! It's time for an intervention.

Who did you think you were fooling donning that luxurious gown as a way to distract onlookers from the fact that coke is slowly getting into your eyes? Do us all a favor, Nicole: next time you wanna go Tony Montana on a fresh kilo, make sure Lindsay's around to snort the remnants off your cheekbones. Then everyone will be happy.

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New Tag: Wash Your Face.

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