Cornrows Take Time to Finish

How dare the police come popping into the crackhouse while this poor young criminal was trying to get his hair did? This is just unfortunate. Homie can't be looking all half-did while in jail! He'll be made someone's bitch as soon as he boards the bus to Sing Sing.

While I feel so bad for the man arrested mid-taming, I feel even worse for the woman/man-who-wants-to-be-a-woman who was braiding his hair for his/her/its next crack binge. Damn police shackled him up before he could toss you a vial! And taming the damn cotton plantation on his head while steadying your withdrawal-induced hand shivers must've been so trying! And the braids are so straight! I'll pray for you.
Follow the link below for more info on where Marcus T. Bailey is so he can slip you a tubule as you slip him a 5.

God Bless America!

Parents: hide the children.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-world/2009/06/23/suspected-drug-dealer-arrested-mid-haircut-by-police-115875-21466068/

Heroin Has Bad Effects On You

This is sad for so many reasons. The man in the picture doesn't even realize that there is a camera flashing in front of him. DXM has ill effects, it would seem. Poor guy. Someone get him some detox.

And get two doses for the girl. Assuming it is a girl. Deep in the back of your mind you are thinking, "if I stare long enough, I'm pretty sure that's a man in a wig". That's because it might be. The jawline, the man hands, and the sloppy, weave-esque hair. It all screams pre-op tranny.

This remains proof that ugliness can and does exist outside of the realm of celebrities. Though both of these people could benefit from a session of "Celebrity Rehab". It worked for Danny Bonaduce.

Couldn't Agree More! Sorry, Aditi!

Shave That Nasty Shit

This is appalling for too many reasons to count. I swear to God I saw a ghetto black lady with his beard on her head. And guess what, he's the first place winner!

Did you know that you can win recognition and awards for having nasty, dyed gross shit like this coming out of your face? It's called the World Beard and Moustache Championships, and if you visit the website at the bottom of this post, you can relish in the hairy, beastly nastiness. God, if that's what his face looks like, well, oh god *BARFS*.

Please continue to keep your shirt on.

Parents: hide the children.

http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/

Keep Her Clothes On!

Why would you ever want to strip search this girl? I'm not saying she didn't deserve it, but, when you see her and then think "now I have to see her naked", do you not gag and barf silently? If I were a security guard, I couldn't care if she had the whole nation of Columbia shoved up her ass crack, I would never want to see any pale, milky, prepubescent sagging, ever. I would take her fucking word for it and pray it pops out her ass crack and falls down her pants leg while she walks by us.

She sounds like a nice girl, though. However, strip searching and fat pre-teens should never go together. Unless you like it like that.

Busted Twins Alert!

Alert! Alert! I've discovered busted twins. Ugliness is lethal on it's own, but when we are ambushed with two of them, it can cause damage of apocalyptic proportions. These boys were featured on The Sartorialist (link's in the blogroll, bitches), and from the likes of it, based on their keen and respectable senses of style, they discovered early on that they would have to make up for their looks with their clothing.

But even the best matched shirt-jacket combination can't hide what's happening on those mugs. Those peanut heads are the first problem, but really it isn't over the top until the eyes come into play. Those are simply dangerous. They scream former, and possibly current, drug addict. They could be packing a gram in each of the bags under their eyes. Hmm, that's convenient.... I'll take note of that for later.

And the pimple on the left hand twin's giant chrome dome does him no justice. At all.

At least they put on lotion. I hate ashy bastards.

The Great Ones - MJ and FF

You will always been the King of Pop, nose or not. We will miss you and your music sorely. RIP.



Farrah, your beauty, smile, and on-screen grace are iconic. You are unforgettable. RIP.

How does the world lose two great stars? Why can't some of the ugliness die, instead of this greatness? Ugh. Devastating.

The War Against Perez Hilton - Ugliness Personified

Even if you were relatively attractive, I would still be waging war against your hypocrisy, Perez! It defeats the purpose of everything on the planet when a gay person uses the word "faggot" as an insult! DUH! WTF! This just pisses me off.

It just so happens that you are ugly as well. And overweight. Gross. So, in essence, I really have no qualms for not liking you. Besides, Will.I.Am is so talented! Apparently, he's got that Boom Boom Pow. What do you have, Perez? A pink website where you circle people's vags like John Madden? Great talent.

I know you put out an apology on your site, but even so, it's a bit ridiculous to think that you did it in the first place. I know the lowdown dirty truth about you. Your real name is Mario, you're 31, and you have manboobs that you accentuate with suspenders. It's appalling.

You've met your match, you freak.

Change for the Worst- Mickey Rourke

Mickey, how do you let something like this happen? Did you look at yourself in the mirror one day and say, I wish I looked like Donatella Versace? People call her beastly, you know that right? You shouldn't aspire to look like anyone who's lips take up more than 50% of her face.

Your skin has been cut open and re-layered so many times that the hair follicles are your face have ceased to exist. It's as smooth and greasy as a baby's bottom, which is highly disturbing for a middle-aged man. And it seems that you are also suffering from the highly contagious melanoma tan.

Seems the only thing that hasn't changed about your face, Mickey, is that right eye of yours: it's still as droopy as ever.

Everyone should go see "The Wrestler"!

Ew.

Oh, what the fuck, Kate Whoeverthefuckyouarebecauseyoudontreallymattersinceyoure-arealitytvstaronthelearningchannel? Why do we have to deal with you? And your nasty, fat ass?

Most importantly, why do we have to sit around and watch you harass and abuse this child, Kate? This is intolerable! He will have to see that debacle of a derriere sagging from your coccyx as soon as you turn around! Oh, the travesties abound! And your Down Syndrome-baby douchebag husband sucks too!



Parents: hide the children.